Long Blog - Big Update
Sorry about all the lists!!

DIET:

I love this protein diet because I feel a lot more in control. I'd recommend it to all of you because I love this feeling.
I haven't binged since I began it, and I didn't binge for three weeks last time, until I went off it Thats when I went on a two week hell-binging spree. Didn't give a damn what I ate. I regret it now.
Well, now I've incorporated one day a week where I can eat whatever I want. It really really helps. After that day I have one protein day. It evens out.

I feel fantastic now I've got 3 - 4 hours of netball a week. I'm toning up a bit more now, yay.
I actually wanted to go for a run today, but i couldnt =(
I have energy. Even though I'm only eating one slice of bread a day for carbs.
(EG: TODAY)
Breaky: Egg and Toast w/ Vegemite
Lunch: Nothing
Snack: Celery, Cheese, Ham and Turkey slices - only thin though (was half my lunch, half a snack)
Dinner: Vegetable and Chicken Japanese StirFry

I eat less than I should but I'm not hungry.

I had a horrid peanut butter addiction that I got over too. It was horrid - my latest binge food. But I'm over it now. It makes me feel sick looking at peanut butter.Thank god.
I think I'm losing weight. My boss noticed. He said he could tell I'd lost weight around my face.
I think he made my week.

My pants are becoming loose.
I can see my collarbones better. I think I'm losing my stomach bit by bit. I know I've lost some fat around my hips.
I haven't weighed myself, but when I think I'm about 58kg, I'll weigh myself. See how close I am.

SCHOOL & LIFE:

Life's not really that great though. It's easy to say right now I am depressed and very very stressed.

I cut myself more frequently on my stomach. Almost everyday. Tried my thighs and my arms, but my body suit in netball doesnt cover a great deal, especially when running. People noticed from the other team, but screw them. Now it's just my stomach. No blood, just sharp pain. Control.

I have five assignments, a speech competition, a Music Tour coming up and work every weekend at the moment.

(Math: Assignment draft handed in, will get back Monday. 23 pages long. Due a week after draft back.
English: 5 minute Duologue to memorise. I'd say I have 90% of it memorised. Due Wednesday.
Chemistry: Keeping a scientific journal. Have done all I can. Will recieve official assignment Monday.
Biology: Going on an excursion to the mangroves Tuesday and Thursday, will write report about during the week.
Health: Assignment on stress. Draft received back Friday, will complete during week.Ahead of all in the class.
Music: Going on Music tour next Thursday. Need to practice both pieces.
Japanese: 3 minute speech to write, translate and memorise. Competition in September. I've won this competition three times, I have a name to live up to.
Work: 6 hours saturday, 6 hours sunday.)

My OCD is getting worse. You can tell, I'm making a million lists. I'm ahead in everything but still stressing over it.
I sorted out our pantry today and half our fridge, even though it's getting packed up tomorrow. My room is nearly spotless. Everything is becoming routine and I hate breaking it. It really irks me.

I'm better with my parents though. About the whole internet thing. Which is good I suppose :)

FUTURE DILEMA: I need to decide what Uni I want to go to after next year. What degree. Health and Nutrition - the easy one? Or Medicine - the hard one? Medicine opens far more doors. But do I really want to do it? Would I enjoy H&N?
I need to set up my work experience soon.

FINANCIAL QUESTION: Is it better to spend $600 on a trip to my home town to spend two weeks with my best friends, who i may not see for a long time after school ends and we go to differnt unis (though we're in different states now anyway)
OR
Is it better to spend that $600 on a Digital SLR camera, which I've wanted for AGES, to pursue photography as an artistic outlet, like I've wanted for a a LONG time?

XANGA QUESTION: Would anyone be interested if I started to blog about random nutritious facts, like what alternatives are better, what workouts work and what diets don't etc?

YOU:

I've tried to be there for you girls still, leaving comments here and there. Hope you girls don't mind I'm not around as much, I'm trying to keep updated. I'm so proud of you all, you're all strong ladies =)
If you ever need to talk, I still am here. I want to help you all.

THANKYOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ EVERYTHING HERE IN THIS BLOG, IT MEANS A LOT IF YOU DID :) I LOVE YOU GIRLS, STAY STRONG!!

FOOD IN GENERAL

Rye vs wholegrain vs wholemeal BREAD

White vs Brown RICE

Low Fat vs Low Calorie vs Low GI ANYTHING (eg: Dairy Products)


Low Carb vs Wholegrain/Natural vs Normal PASTA

MEAL IDEAS
Please note I want the healthiest, not necessarily the best "Ana" choice. Something to fill you up, reduce binging. Something that gives you the most vitamins, minerals, etc.
If you could give calorie counts to back up your arguments, or anything to back them up, that'd be awesome.

ADD YOUR OWN IDEAS IF YOU CAN THINK OF ANYTHING BETTER!
GIVE SPECIFIC EXAMPLES IF POSSIBLE PLEASE!

Breakfast:
Toast with spread vs Muesli with yogurt vs Yogurt with fruit vs Fruit vs Cereal

Lunch: 
Sandwich with Meat & Salad vs Salad with meat vs Garden Salad vs Fruit

Dinner:
Meat with Salad vs Meat with Vegetables vs Soup vs Cooked meals (eg: shepards pie, spaghetti bolegnaise etc)

Snacks:
Air-popped Popcorn vs Nuts vs Fruit

Desserts/Something Sweet:

Fruit vs  Yogurt vs Jelly vs Low-Fat/GI/Whatever-is-better Icecream

If you have any other comparisons you'd like your opinion stated for, go ahead and comment please.

---

Just trying to get my mind around a few things. Need your opinion.

I need to get some help... i harmed again last night... because of the gorging, and just kept going.. i need my opinions straight... i need help... i'm desperate.

Not going to comment about the past two days. Have had two free days and i gorged badly. Back on track today, slow does it...slow does it...I fucked up my previous plan for the next few days, just gotta start again.
I hate myself right now.

Intake
B- Yogurt 180cal
L- TBA
D- TBA

Outtake:
TBA (Will be walking to a friends place, an hour on treadmill, half hour video... i hope)

 Not much to say really. Got up this morning and though it was about time for me to post some pictures showing you my progress...

Please excuse all panties and bras and boobs..... lol. and my messy room. And how fat I am still. Am weighing tomorrow, I'm scared!!
(For those who've seen my last photos, any improvements...?)
I bought size 10 pants form Jay Jays today, which is great for me because i went from a size 10 to a 12 and now back =D Weigh in tomorrow!!!!!!

(1) You can still see my fat legs, but the hips are getthing there...

(2) I'm leaning up here, but ribs are getting there....

(3) "Whole Body Shot"

(4) Arm.... meh.

(5) I wish i looked like this all the time, not just when I was sucking it in....

The "Before" shot is on the right. I think iv lost some weight since then... :)

 Intake:
B- Nothing
L- One boiled egg white (12 cal) + A few mouthfuls of cream (...it was tempting) (100)
D- Two bits of chicken and a salad w/ egg white (200 - 300)
Total- 500 tops

Outtake:
Because i'm a lazy fat fuck I didnt go running, but we did walk around the shopping centre for an hour and a half, so it's okay... i will run tomorrow though.